hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
