If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
