I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
only you would photoshop your dick
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
