But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
