windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
