I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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