i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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