ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
