If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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