She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
