when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
"it" just moved
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
