hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
