Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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