Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
