So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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