As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
