Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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