I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
