I'm lost and stupid without you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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