This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
