i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
