you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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