His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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