Cold hands, warm shart.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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