If i come over, it means nothing
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
