i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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