dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
