It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
