keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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