Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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