I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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