we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
