just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
