That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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