I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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