It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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