I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
