Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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