he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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