someone threw a dead crab at me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
