i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
