Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My life is pants optional.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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