My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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