sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
