they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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