i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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