what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
