I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
