i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
