yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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